Remember
I Remember...
Sitting in the tree.
Running on the hot sizzling sand.
My feet burning like fire.
Running to the shiny, sparkling water.
Watching my brothers splashing each other, as they laugh.
SMASH as I get smashed over by the Wild Waves, as I jumped back up with joy.
Rolling up and down on the grass as the birds chirp away.
Jumping out of the trees and landing on the soft sand.
Shivering in the wind.
That was my summer.
I was learning to notice but use the structure that’s used in the exemplar. The first line was what we were doing, the second line was what happened the third line was something that we did and the fourth line was why we did it. I think I did well describing the beach like the sand and the water, maybe next I could improve on writing more sentences and describing more writing.
Hi Sharnee, what a cool piece of writing here. I really get a good sense of your summer experience. I also like the way you have reflected on how your writing was structured. Keep it going this year.
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